Dumb Baseball image

Dumb Baseball

New games on Bluesky
Originals on Twitter/X.

Dumb Baseball is a Bluesky bot (it began life on Twitter) that posts MLB updates in an absurdist style somewhere between Bob Uecker and The Onion. The bot is written in node.js with an assist from a custom LLaMA checkpoint.

Some Examples

  • Hot dogs sizzling, die-hards pounding buckets, and Aunt Dee scoping with jumbo binoculars—summer’s back! Marte and Crow-Armstrong smacked doubles, Machado flashed some leather, and the AL squad outslugged the NL in a wild 6-6 bash at the ol’ ballyard.#

  • Cards sneak past Braves 5-4! Victor Scott II hustles home, Contreras rips a double, and José Fermín keeps it lively. The crowd? Sparse but hardcore—shirtless superfans and rally towels waving. Stadium’s buzzing, hot dogs lukewarm, and every pitch could wake the crowd!#

  • Dodgers dropped the hammer on the Giants, 5-2. Chapman hustled in for a run, Ramos whiffed twice, and Jung Hoo Lee stayed quiet. Crowd was wild—more buzz than free beer night, with rally towels flying and dogs grilling. Playoff hopes, indigestion… or both?#

  • D-backs slice up the Angels 5-1, Neto sneaks in a run while Ward’s K count hits four—dude’s swinging at ghosts. Crowd’s rowdy, half-empty seats, dad wisdom in the nosebleeds, and Harry’s still shirtless. Good times, unless you’re Ward’s bat.#

  • Phillies edge Padres 2-1 in a nail-biter! Campusano whiffs twice, rolls into a DP—tough night. Tatis and Machado couldn’t spark the Friars. Stands looked empty, but the diehards repped hard and vendors had more strolls than sales. Energy? Weird but electric!#