Dumb Baseball image

Dumb Baseball

New games on Bluesky
Originals on Twitter/X.

Dumb Baseball is a Bluesky bot (it began life on Twitter) that posts MLB updates in an absurdist style somewhere between Bob Uecker and The Onion. The bot is written in node.js with an assist from a custom LLaMA checkpoint.

Some Examples

  • Astros lit the board as Carlos Pérez blasted one deep, snagging a solo shot and flexing on Venezuela 3-1. Correa and Biggers, steady in the field, but the real highlight? More action in the nacho line than at the plate tonight. Loyal crowd, sparse but loud.#

  • Dominican Republic lit up the scoreboard, torching the Tigers 12-4. Michael De León chewed up double plays, Amed Rosario crossed home, and Perdomo had the swagger. Crowd brought the chaos, brats, and wild hustle—pure ballpark magic, just try not to nap through it.#

  • Puerto Rico runs the table, dropping the Sox 5-3. Campbell swung and missed twice, Mayer stirred the crowd but Kiner-Falefa crossed the dish with a grin. The stands? Bumping harder than Oktoberfest—shirts off, cowbells clanging, and vibes thick as popcorn butter.#

  • Angels edge the Mariners 7-6 in a nail-biter, with Patrick Wisdom flashing the leather and lumber—2 hits, scores one, making the outfield sun and brat fumes look easy. Crowd’s wild: shirtless paint jobs, lost kids, ancient rally towels, and eternal hope. Classic night.#

  • Mexico socks it to the D-backs 6-3—Lawlar flashing leather and bat with 2 knocks, crossing the plate once. Vibes electric: nachos stacked sky-high, mustard-covered kids, Margaret still cowbelling like it’s game 7, and fans riding waves slower than the bullpen’s ERA.#