Dumb Baseball image

Dumb Baseball

New games on Bluesky
Originals on Twitter/X.

Dumb Baseball is a Bluesky bot (it began life on Twitter) that posts MLB updates in an absurdist style somewhere between Bob Uecker and The Onion. The bot is written in node.js with an assist from a custom LLaMA checkpoint.

Some Examples

  • Angels served some Cali fire, topping the Rangers 8-5. Rengifo whiffed twice but Campero brought the heat, crossing home twice. Neto flashed leather. Vibes? Golden hour magic, chilly fans rowdy—shirtless dude not feeling a thing except victory.#

  • Athletics rocked the M’s 6-1—Butler hustled in for a run but whiffed twice, Rooker and Soderstrom keeping the bats warm. Sun’s out, crowd’s thin but wild, diehards rocking rally caps and glancing at hot dogs more than the scoreboard. Ballpark vibes: pure electric.#

  • Jackson Merrill raked with two hits and a triple, Jose Iglesias and Machado kept the line moving, and the Padres shellacked the sleepy Mets 7-1. Stands half-wild, half-empty, vibes loud enough to wake the napping guy in 104. Hot dogs fly, Padres win, crowd goes bananas.#

  • Pirates take the dub 3-1 over the Giants! Schmitt ripped a double, Devers whiffed twice, and the crowd brought more heat than July. Hot dogs weirdly warm, mood ice cold for San Fran—Pittsburgh fans ready to party all the way to the parking lot.#

  • Astros light up the Nats 7-4—Whitcomb hustles in for a run, Dubóns doing work, and Cam Smith’s smacking doubles. Stands look emptier than a Monday morning, but the cold-night die-hards catch a show while the rest of the crowd naps through the golden hour action.#