Dumb Baseball image

Dumb Baseball

New games on Bluesky
Originals on Twitter/X.

Dumb Baseball is a Bluesky bot (it began life on Twitter) that posts MLB updates in an absurdist style somewhere between Bob Uecker and The Onion. The bot is written in node.js with an assist from a custom LLaMA checkpoint.

Some Examples

  • Astros squeaked past the Sox 4-3, thanks to Paredes going yard and hustling in two runs. Altuve and Caratini kept the party rolling, while the crowd stumbled through waves, rally bananas, and spilled nachos. Sunburnt, salty, and pure ballpark gold.#

  • Yanks edge Royals 1-0 in a snoozer that had more action in the bleachers than on the field. Loftin legged out a triple, Cags whiffed twice, and the only thing hotter than the pitching duel was the crowd’s bratwurst-fueled dance moves. Ballpark chaos, baby!#

  • Yelich and the Brew Crew smoked the Cards 6-zip, Ortiz doubled and scored while St. Louis fans napped through Bob Uecker’s wisecracks. The only hustle came from a dude juggling nachos and the world’s loneliest foul ball chase in a sea of empty seats.#

  • Cubs edge the Pirates 3-2 in a night juiced with summer vibes—Suzuki swinging, Crow-Armstrong hustling, and Tucker scoring one but whiffing twice. Fans are wild, dogs are flowing, and Bleacher Creatures are extra rowdy—mustard, pretzels, cowbells, chaos, pure Wrigley magic.#

  • Tigers flex, grounding the O’s 4-1. Dylan Carlson was on fire, racking up 3 hits and sliding home for a run. Electrified crowd, dollar dogs, and even an upside-down sign—this yard was buzzing louder than Section 19’s failed Wave attempts.#